Aug 31

Spawn decided last night that he wanted to watch the 20/20 special on the top 7 ways the world could end.  I felt extremely validated that #6 was Robots taking over the world, since this is something that I have believed for a very long time.

But it wasn’t simply the inclusion of the Coming Robot Rebellion on the list that validated me, it was seeing Stephen Hawking, the most brilliant man alive, state that he believed that robots could have the capacity and intelligence to take over the world within the next hundred years.  There are also hundreds of computer scientists specializing in AI who agree with this assessment and caution that care should be taken when improving upon exisitng technologies.

So mock me if you must, but I am in VERY good company with my paranoid science-fiction theories.

Aug 26

As we rapidly approach birthday week, I find myself done shopping with three days to spare.

Mom is Tuesday, I’m on Thursday and my little brother turns 16 on Friday.  I finished his shopping yesterday, which was no easy task.  Shopping for a right young, 16 year old hippie is not all that easy…  I had to enlist the help of a Spencer’s employee.  I did a great job, though, eliciting a comment of "why can’t I have a mom as cool as you" from a 26 year old guy.  Um…  maybe because I’m his sister/??  Good grief, most people don’t believe that I have an almost-13 year old, let alone a 16 year old.  That was a blow to my ego for sure.

I took my little bro to shop for mom today.  Wound up having to buy gifts from RC2, Spawn, Child of Chaos *and* me…  I kept the price reasonable, though, and we got excellent gifts for her.

I have one more thing to buy for Girl, whose birthday is 9/9.  I know two other people in that same week, but since my birthday comes first,  I’ll let them set the precedent as to whether we are buying each other gifts this year.   Except for that one last thing, I am done shopping until November.  This is a huge relief.

Most years I get really excited about my birthday, but last night I realized that I usually have really crappy ones.  Every 10 years I have a REALLY good birthday, but the nine years in between, not so much.  As a result of this revelation, I am not getting excited about this birthday like I have in the past.  I know my mom will make me a cake and probably Princess will do our birthday brunch over the weekend, but no one else has even asked what my plans are and do I want to go out.  So, ok, maybe I won’t do anything about my birthday, but I don’t think I’m going to go out of my way for myself this year.  I’d LOVE to do something, either *on* my birthday or over the weekend, but I’m not going to work really at all to make it happen. 

I’m actually kind of zen about the whole thing.  I’ll be another year older and make that step into my 30′s and I’m ok with that.  I’m just a little worried that something’s going to happen that makes it a happy FUCKING birthday yet again and I think, the most important thing for me is that it not be another drama-laden day.  I just want fun…  I hope it’s not too much to ask.

Aug 24

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you’ve seen me talk about my Treo. I love this phone and its "I can do ANYTHING" capabilities. And it can. When it feels like it.

But it doesn’t always feel like it. The two most recent issues were when it decided it only was willing to publish *half* of the absurdly long post I spent obscene amounts of time writing on a desktop (and lost the other half of it in the ether of the internet) and then when it decided to not actually attach documents to the email I was sending, but did allow me to attach the documents to a completely different email to a completely different person, who replied to it…  at which point the phone decided to route said reply to my work email account, which isn’t even set up on the infernal phone.  ???  Explain *that* away.

I think I need to find an alert tone that goes "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah", because I swear this thing already says that.  I much prefer having the realizations that I’m an idiot for something that I actually did, rather than having an anthropomorphic device hell bent on convincing me that I didn’t actually want to do whatever it was I was trying to do in the first place.

I’m starting to think I should name it.  HAL seems fitting, but dangerous…  it’s already smarter than me, I don’t want to encourage it to go any further than it already has.  "I can’t let you do that, Fyre."  It just hasn’t vocalized the statement.  NOW I have to try to find a midi ring tone of "A Bicycle Built for Two".  Um…  on second thought, maybe not so much.

Stupid smart phone…  what do YOU think I should name it?

*EDIT* Upon further thought, I am considering naming it Daisy as a nod to HAL without actually invoking him.  If you’ve seen the movie and get the reference, what do you think of that idea?

Aug 19

I don’t know what scares me more.  The fact that Jeb Bush has signed a law that effectively outlaws critical thinking being taught in schools in Florida, or the fact that few Americans are aware of this fact.

I am a news junkie.  Every day I read the newspaper cover to cover.  Most nights I watch my local news.  I read magazines and websites to be more informed about what’s going on the world, country, state, city where I live and I only learned about this when it was posted to Digg (but it never made the front page), from an article on BBC News.

This is a PROBLEM.  For a moment, let’s ignore the fact that, in Florida, “American history shall be viewed as factual, not as constructed,” and look at the lack of coverage of such a bill being passed.  Are we so out of touch with the rest of the country that something this enormous is virtually ignored?

Where are the articles?  Where are the bloggers?  Where are the teacher’s unions standing up to say "You cannot outlaw the teaching of critical thinking (in terms of history)?"  We’re all aware, to some level or another, that history is written by the winners, but to deem American history, as a whole,  as being entirely factual relegates every Florida student to a life as a brainwashed moron, parroting back ‘facts’ that are derived from *someone’s* interpretation of history.  And who determines which interpretation is correct?  By this logic, it seems to me that it’s being said that while slavery (for example) is abhorrent, until the 1860′s, there was nothing wrong with it.  Is that true?  More importantly, does it matter, since students are about to be taught that everything as written is true. 

Every day we learn new facts, actual concrete, provable facts that shed new light on history.  Every day documents are found or unsealed or released that change the perspective on which history is judged.  How does this impact previous interpretations of history?

WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW ABOUT THIS?

This scares the hell out of me, folks.  I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around the repercussions of passing a law of this magnitude.  Can it really be illegal to allow students to look at the historical facts presented and interpret them?  Who is writing these purely factual history texts?

I rarely do this sort of thing, but this has prompted me to tell everyone I know, as I talk to them or see them, that this is going on.  I am dismayed by the sheer number of people who had no idea that this was going on in their own country.  I have rendered some people speechless.  I have shocked others.  Some have said "I’m not surprised."  Where is the outrage?  Of all the people I told, only one already knew, from her mother, an educator.

This is not a political issue, or at least it shouldn’t be.  This is something that goes against everything the United States is supposed to stand for.  I implore you, please tell someone.  Please tell an educator.  Please tell a student.  This is something that people need to be talking about.

Is critical thinking going to become another issue that should be taught at home?  I know I’m already doing it, but how many people are going to assume that this is an issue that "shouldn’t be taught in schools."  I remember reading the book, Lies My Teacher Told Me and being amazed at the sheer amount of American History that was glossed over in high school and college.  Imagine the sorts of books that will be written if this law becomes more widespread…  Not that it would matter, though, since students who never learned critical thinking will be the ones least likely to seek out history books as adults.  They already know their history.  They must, since they passed the tests.

Aug 17

Not all of these things happened *today*… 

  • Required training that really doesn’t apply to me or the job I do.
  • 90 minutes of virtual training – during my lunch break.
  • People who ask questions that have already been answered.
  • People who disrupt virtual training sessions by playing that infernal IM game "Last Word" (I’m talking about participants, not random people who might not know.)
  • Conference calls where non-participatory attendants insist on keeping their phones on and unmuted, causing echos and forcing *everyone* to listen to the background noise, their typing, a coughing fit, whatever.
  • People who don’t read the FAQ before asking a (go figure) Frequently Asked Question!
  • Having to play "Mom" in a group of adults.
  • Looking for an apartment.
  • Application fees.
  • The impending moment when Spawn officially becomes a teenager (5 weeks).
  • Friends I only ever talk to in dreams.
  • The floor in my office sometimes vibrates.  I don’t know why.  I think, maybe, I don’t want to.
  • Tacos. 
  • Running out of gas… in the EZ Pass lane.
  • Realizing at 3:30 that it’s not actually Friday.
  • Days like today.
  • Bullet points that show up in the post section, but not in the actual post :(
Aug 17

… minding my own business, smoking a cigarette when this random guy (I don’t know) pulls into the parking lot.  He parks his car, gets out, turns to me and says, "I got some tacos.  Want one?"

And that is, quite possibly, the shortest story I’ve ever told.

Aug 15

It’s a topic I’ve touched on before, but after thinking about it more, I want to expand it.

I don’t know if this happens in other countries, but in the US, we are all judged primarily on how we appear on paper.  Whether or not this is always true, it is true enough of the time to be a frightening situation, causing people who have no real experience to get jobs they shouldn’t have while more capable people are left wondering why they should have a piece of paper that doesn’t prove they actually know anything.

Personal experience #1:  By some twist of fate I wound up getting both my diploma and my GED.  When asked, for college registration, to present one or the other, I asked which one they prefered.  They said it didn’t matter, but when I pushed, I was told that the GED was actually a better choice.  Why?  Because it proved that I actually knew what I needed to graduate high school, whereas the diploma merely showed that I was there for the required minimum of days.  Keep in mind, this is not about the transcripts or what grades you got, it’s merely the presentation of a piece of paper.

Personal experience #2:  I didn’t learn to drive until I was 20.  I was living in Michigan and when I went to get my license, I was told that I would have to take a driving test.  You see, 10 years ago, in Michigan, if you took Driver’s Education classes, you were only required to take a written test in order to get your license.  I don’t know if that has changed or not, but what it meant was that there were a lot of reckless people on the road who likely would not have passed a road test.  Learning the theory was enough for the state to issue the licenses, they took on faith that the piece of paper issued by the (often large) classes and the parental assurance that they had clocked the number of required hours with their teen was proof enough that these kids really knew what they were doing. 

The roads in Michigan are incredibly dangerous.  I remember one exceptionally frightening experience, where I was passed on M-14 on the shoulder of the left lane just as the shoulder ended.  The car was probably driving at least 100 mph (I was probably doing 75).  This was not uncommon and was before distractions like cell phones were prevalent. 

Another thing to look at on this topic is broader than just Michigan, it’s elderly drivers.  As people age, they lose certain abilities.  Maybe they can’t turn their head to see the blind spot, maybe their reflexes are no longer as keen as they once were.  However, once you have a driver’s license, a simple written test and eye exam are all that are needed to renew the license.  Again, we take that piece of paper, without tangible proof that you do, indeed, know, not only how to drive, but to drive safely.

Personal experience #3: Job interviews.  With very few exceptions, every job interview I have had has been a situation of having to validate the information on my resume.  Without certifications and with a degree outside of my chosen career path, I am often expected to prove that I really know what I say I know.  The problem is that I can talk a better game on topics in which I have no experience than I may be able to prove, and I don’t think I’m alone in that.

The best job interview I’ve ever had was a recent one, the one that led me to my current position.  Instead of asking technical questions, I was asked about the experiences themselves.  "Tell me about your last job.  What did you like about it?  What did you learn from it?  What were the primary challenges and how did you overcome them?  How was the transition from an environment of 300 people to an environment of over 2000?"  These are questions that gave him a better understanding of who I am and what it is that I actually do than asking me about the specifics of programs I had worked with or the specific functions of a job I did five years ago.

Let’s be honest here.  I can talk a good game.  If I were going to lie on my resume I would not only be able to back it up in the interview, but I could probably find 3-5 people willing to lie for me about having done things I have no hands-on experience with.  I could go in the direction of using non-technical references or just have friends of mine willing to say "Oh yeah, FG is great, she really knows her stuff when it comes to [insert something I have no experience with]."  But I choose not to lie, or even to mislead, out of the fear that I’ll wind up in a position that’s over my head.  However, it also means that I don’t get certain interviews for jobs I know I can do, simply because my paperwork doesn’t back it up.

Moving on: I know this one situation…  a friend of mine works with a guy who is incompetent in his job.  Regardless of his papers, he can’t do the job for which he was hired.  The problem is that he can’t be replaced because the hiring manager(s) can’t find someone qualified to do the job.  This is a problem of looking for a paper doll.  The job itself is something that a lot of people could do, but since they are immovable about looking for a person with skills X, Y and Z, they refuse to even consider someone with X and Y and a capability of learning Z.  They put priority on what they think they can find and then try to get someone who can maybe meet the bare minimums of all three.  But that’s rarely possible.  When you look for something that doesn’t necessarily exist, you wind up with someone who has either lied about what they can do or who can only function at the bare minimum, at best.

Is this something new or is it something that’s been going on for a long time?  On paper, I can be "Reubenesque", rather than heavy (because people get on me when I use the word "fat"), but when you meet me in person, there’s going to be a different word going through your mind.  I have met people (when I did the online dating thing) who were "self-employed",  but they didn’t work.  I have met people who were college graduates whose REAL major (as in, what they actually learned) was partying, and they couldn’t function in a real job.  I have also met people who were college, or even high school drop outs, who were beyond brilliant and, once they landed whatever job, went above and beyond what anyone ever expected from them…  but those are always the ones who struggle to get the interview, let alone the job.  Those are the ones whose references have to be flawless and who need that first chance just to get their foot in the door.

But we are not a society of paper dolls, and what we put on paper is rarely going to be an accurate assessment of who we are and what we’re capable of.  I can take tests like nobody’s business.  My SAT scores (from 14 years ago) were high, my GPA (from 8 years ago) was excellent, but those things simply do not matter when it comes to what I do. 

All we are on paper is the best that we can present ourselves based on previous experience.  A resume is little more than a personal ad for prospective employers.  A license of any sort is the opinion of some random person we have likely never spoken with again stating that we can do whatever it is that we said we could do.  Test results show that we knew what the right answers were at that point in time – not that we can apply the concepts or even that we still remember what it was we think we learned.

One day, maybe, people will look past the pieces of paper and try to see the reality of the person, whether it’s a friend, a colleague, a girl/boyfriend or a potential anything.  Unfortunately, right now, we are little more than paper dolls – cardboard cutouts trying to find where we fit.

 

Aug 13

It doesn’t matter what new situation you find yourself in, there is always a turning point where it goes from unfamiliar to comfortable.  Thankfully I got that this week in the new job.

I’m a very social person and I usually make friends easily, but I have a hard time adapting to completely new situations.  Since I started this job, I’ve felt rather out of place, being the only IT person in a department of accountants.  Even the position I’m filling has previously been filled by Accounting-based people, though it is really more of an IT support job.  it’s hard because the lingo is different and I feel out of place among these people.  Also, because I’m somewhat physically isolated, it’s difficult to meet the people I pass in the hallway.

So, some of you know, but I haven’t come out and stated it on my blog, I fell off the wagon a few months back and started smoking again.  I realized that I have to have one vice and, since I can’t really afford to drink and other stuff was out for various reasons, I went right back to my old pattern.  This should, in theory, make it easy to meet people, but it doesn’t.  I haven’t really found that the smokers at this new place are all that friendly or willing to chat on their break.

I’ve been literally snubbed by women I’ve passed in the hallway, which is a new one on me.  I can’t think of another time since High School that people have gone so far as to turn their nose up when someone says "Good morning".  It makes me question myself.  Is it because I’m fat?  Is it because I’m a woman?  It hammers at my optimistic, perky shell.  I keep saying good morning, but I steel myself when I do, on the chance that I’ll be rejected for something so small.

This is why I hate working with a majority of women.  The petty behavior that I’m feeling is mostly coming from women and there are more women that I see regularly than men.

Don’t get me wrong, I have met a handful of people.  The woman who is training me is great, as is my supervisor.  The remote people I talk to in IM are also wonderful and the end-users tend to be (so far, anyway) very reasonable folks.  The man that my supervisor is replacing is someone I think I would really enjoy working with – or even just being around, but he’s leaving, so that’s out.  The woman whose office I share is very friendly and a fine office mate.  And that’s it.  Those are all the people I have had a chance to talk to for more than a passing nod.

Thank gods for the IM client that allows me to talk to people in my last job and the boys I know who are on campus, but in another building.  Having those IT guys to type to has given me something of an outlet for my current at-work social stagnation.  Something is better than nothing and, from them, I can get some of he banality of what I have come to expect from smoke breaks.

But there’s always a turning point.  There always comes a moment when things change, if only slightly.  Mine came the morning after I blogged last time.  I don’t know if it was a change in me or a change in other people, but all of  a sudden, one person who had been passively avoiding me, came up and gave me a bright "Good morning!", which was unfortunately lost for most of the day as I encountered, BY FAR, the funniest name for a person, I have ever seen (I don’t feel comfortable writing about that until I leave this job, but if you want a really hard belly laugh, email me and I’ll tell you).  It wasn’t just getting a "good morning" from someone who had, not snubbed me, but looked through me for a week, it was the manner in which he said it and the odd change of him saying hello each and every time I passed him.

That same day I wound up officially meeting someone I had seen around who always had a scowl on her face.  I had the feeling from the very first that this woman was more likely to be an extremely busy person than standoffish as she appeared, so I withheld judgement.  She is very busy, but it was nice to chat for 5 minutes and say "This is who I am, why I’m here and what I do."  For the first time that day, I felt like I actually had the social interaction that I need to get through my day.  A weight was lifted off of me.

Now I need that turning point in the apartment hunt. I looked at a small place yesterday that I can deal with.  I’ll send in the rental app tomorrow and hope for the best.  It’s very small, but the location couldn’t be better for me.  It’ll be a bit of a scramble to get the money together, since they’re asking for a larger security deposit than I was expecting and want a pet deposit, but I think I’ll be able to swing it to move by 9/1…  if they’ll give it to me.

At this point, I’ve decided that I want to move on 9/1 s a birthday present to myself.  I think that would be good.  Maybe I can even get the day off work…  time will tell.

All I can say right now is that I have this wave of relief in knowing I’m not as shunned or as outcast as I was starting to feel.  Who knows?  In a couple of weeks I may even fit in, which begs the question, do I really want to fit in with Accountants?

Aug 8

I didn’t get the apartment I wanted.

I didn’t wind up having plans with the person I’ve been making plans with for over a week.

I didn’t pick a fight.

I didn’t cry at work.

I didn’t say, ‘You know, why don’t you just call me when you actually have time to spend, because I’m really getting tired of rejection on all fronts."

I didn’t have a movie date with anyone.

I didn’t get a single compliment on the fabulous outfit I put together for work.

I didn’t throw up.

But I wanted to do all those things.  I felt like every single one, and I had to WORK to not do the ones in my control.

And I didn’t. 

But I did write a blog post.  And I think I’m going to go see a movie anyway…  then I’m going to sleep.  Because above all else, I’m tired…  and a good night’s sleep usually helps.

Aug 3

I don’t generally do memes, although I am fascinated by them.  I don’t participate in themed days for blog topics, but since it is Thursday, and I have a big ol’ FOAD, I’ll do this one today.

FOAD to all the people who overuse the acronym concept.  I’m not talking about the convenience of IM acronyms (WTF, LOL, RTFM, TTYL), but people who create acronyms for stupid things because they’re too damned lazy to type out the words.  Song titles are not going to make workable acronyms and, frankly, if you don’t hear people referring to, say, Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey as EGStHEfMaMM, then you can DAMN WELL spell out a song title that has five words to it.
 
It’s bad enough that we’ve picked up on acronyms that used to be industry-specific.  The few people who don’t know what PEBKAC means will find out soon enough if an IT person uses it in front of them, but FUBAR has become pretty standard in American English, as has AWOL (and often out of context) and plenty of other formerly-military terms.  Everything is shortened these days, United Parcel Service and Federal Express have officially changed their names to UPS and FedEx.

But my FOAD doesn’t end here, my friends, not by a long shot because we’ve become lazy with the spoken word as well.  When I talk about parcel delivery, I talk about U P S (you pee ess), but I have heard people pronounce it as a word, UPS (as in plural of up).  It seems that, if it contains a vowel, it has become a word.  (I blame NASA.)  I can understand not wanting to write (or type) out Supreme Court of the United States (although who actually types all of that out?), so instead you write SCOTUS, but IT IS NOT A WORD.  If you say SCOTUS as a word, I know I’m not the only one who’s not going to have the first clue what you’re talking about.  Worse than that, even, is POTUS.  How long does it take to type out "Bush"?  Or Pres. Bush, for those who may (for whatever reason) not understand who Bush is without the qualifier.  And I have heard people say POTUS as a word!!!  What is wrong with you people?

Those of you who think you’re clever because you have decided you know how to pronounce acronyms that never had any business even attempting to be words, those of you who think you’re clever because you can take the first letter of each word in a movie or song title and turn it into nonsensical caps lock garbage, well I have four words for you on this Thursday…
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