This internet age that we live in has really allowed for many people to recreate themselves as they see fit. Even those who convince themselves that they are the same person both on and offline are only fooling themselves. It’s that measure of anonymity that allows us to be a little more free with our opinions and thoughts and to say things (in ways) that we would never say to someone’s face.
For me, I’ve carefully cultivated my online reputation. Searches on FyreGoddess turn up infinitely more results than searches on my real name. When I’m online I’m not anonymous, I am someone else, someone mostly separated from my real life self, less self-censored, more argumentative, and about as guarded on both sides. It’s a persona that I have spent years setting up. There are a lot of people who know (or have known) FyreGoddess, but do not know the person behind her at all. I fully intend to keep it that way.
But I’ve been thinking about that lately. I’ve been thinking about how many people have these dual personalities that are kept fairly separate from each other. I was thinking about how many people I "know" only by their screen name and how many teenagers and young adults have to track both real names and screen names of their friends.
Our names are given to us by our parents and our RL nicknames are given to us by family or friends, usually when we are very young. It’s a rare case that someone chooses their own name, but I wonder how far we are from the point where people are called (verbally) the name they choose on the internet.
John, Mike, Jason, Mark, Brian, David… these are all names of people I know, but those six names are the names of probably 15 people I know. It seems that there always has to be a descriptor to it, so it will be their last name or initial or maybe something VERY descriptive and almost an in-joke ([Name], the viking) so that we know who we’re talking about. With a handful of people, I’ve just started calling them by the name I use on the blog, because otherwise it turns into an explanation. I met a man named Jason not too long ago and, when introduced, told him "I’m sorry, I can’t call you that, there are just Too Many Jasons." He laughed and said, "That’s ok, you can call me [his nickname]." Thank goodness he took it in stride.
Even my own name is common enough that there are Too Many. If people want to call me FyreGoddess in real life, they’re welcome to and I will respond. There are several people who do already, usually because they need a light, but regardless, I see it happening. I also know people whose handles are based on their real life nicknames because they already had a name that they liked enough to be semi-anonymous online.
But it’s not only about common names. One friend of mine has a highly unique name, but Miz and I still sometimes refer to her as an old screen name, one she no longer even uses. Thus does the anonymity lessen to some degree and translate into the real world.
Certainly some people have disposable screen names, but there usually comes a point in time where we’ve decided on a theme of the more permanent ones. Once we find that one that suits us well, we reuse it and, somehow, start integrating it into our real life personalities, which is remarkably simple, since we’re generally using something that already expresses *something* about ourselves in the first place.
It’s interesting to me that of all the information that I make public, which is a lot, it’s mostly only the names that I shield. My name, the names of my friends and family, the name of the company where I work… these are the things that would enable others to actively find me. It’s that idea that someone knowing your real name has power over you, well, it’s absolutely true. Someone who knows my true name or the company where I work would open up possibilities that we hear horror stories about online. So we keep our true names hidden and give out names that may more truly convey who we are.
But onto my point (which I had forgotten, or maybe it wasn’t my point at first, but it is now). I mean, how anonymous are we, really? I am sometimes accused of hiding behind a screen name in order to say some of the things I do, and only feeling comfortable saying them because I am *anonymous*. But how anonymous can I really be when searching on my screen name turns up so much more information than searching for my real name does? If anything, it’s my real name that’s anonymous, since no one online would know who the hell I am if I wrote using that.
Does it make the things I say any less valid, if I say them using an established online handle? Or does it actually make them more valid, since I have spent years cultivating the reputation that my name bears (for good or bad, depending)? How can I (or anyone really) be hiding behind some semblance of anonymity when people know you by the handle you use?
I think it’s just a case of separating yourself depending on the world you’re in. If I don’t have my inflections, my body language, my physical and verbal mannerisms, then all that’s left is the persona of FyreGoddess, the disembodied words that flow out onto the internet.