Campfyre Stories

Campfyre Stories
Make yourself comfy and listen to a tale or two.
Adulteress no more.

Had I known, I probably wouldn’t have switched.

January 30th, 2008

Well there it is, the end of the Edwards campaign.  It’s surprising considering that the pundits were starting to validate him after the demographics of South Carolina, despite his loss and considering his repeated statement of intention to stick it out until the convention.

But what REALLY burns me is that I have been a registered Republican since I turned 18 for one reason and one reason only, because that is the primary I want to vote in.  The *only* reason that I switched parties was because there was a specific candidate who I supported.  Now, not only is there not a specific candidate who I actively support, I don’t even get to vote in the primary I want to!

And, frankly, I’m not sure which part is worse.

Clearly it had just been too long

January 28th, 2008

I can’t in good faith call it being clumsy because when I fall, I fall with STYLE, if not with grace.  And I try to be careful, really I do, but sometimes things get away from me.  There are plenty of stories if you go through the archives, about falling in a hole or flying through the bus, but it has had been a long time since I did something really stupid.

My brother invited me over for dinner, so I went, and it was good.  He had asked me to pick up some garlic bread at the store.  I needed an egg, but didn’t want to buy a dozen, so I told my brother that he could pay me back with an egg.

And I honestly don’t know what happened, but I was walking down the stairs and I fell off them.  Not down, which would imply hitting the other steps on the way, but OFF and over some 5 steps landing on the ground, HARD.  I’m still not sure what happened except that I bashed my knee and skinned it, fell on top of my purse, but didn’t kill my phone, and somehow in all that, managed to not break the egg that I was carrying in my hand.

That was the really impressive part for me, and the reason that I was a little disappointed that no one saw this strange fall of mine this time around.  The egg in my hand was still whole.  I found that so impressive that I don’t even really mind limping.  Or that I’m going to have to patch my jeans.  Heh.

Wee hours of the morning

January 24th, 2008

Dawn hasn’t cracked yet, as I sit in Denny’s at 5am, waiting for it to be late enough to go into work. It occurred to me that if I knew the make/model and license plate number of the car they were leaving me, I could have gotten the parking pass as I left work yesterday, but when I called there was no one home. It means that I can’t actually go into work until 7, hence, Denny’s.

Oh well, I don’t actually *mind* waking up at 4 to take mom and Dick to the airport, especially if it means a break from the cold, wind and bus for a few days. Part of me wishes that I could have hooked up with someone(s) on the bus route to ride share, but I also know that the one person I could have made the offer to is the one person who would probably make me crazy enough to want to drive into a tree. Heh.

Having a car already means I’m busier than usual for the duration. I have plans upon plans upon plans. Plans to take my niece to a hands-on museum, plans to take Spawn out, plans to take care of some business that has waited for longer than I care to calculate. I’m not complaining, mind… I’m just babbling at 5am.

I forgot how much I like Denny’s hash browns. That’s what I’m going to focus my full attention on now.

Snakes loathe cold.

January 23rd, 2008

I am totally ready for winter to be over.

My hair agrees completely and has become petulant that it continues.

That is all.

Actually, it is pretty easy being green.

January 22nd, 2008

(Apologies to Kermit the Frog.)

Not only easier, but cheaper and healthier, too.

People are amazed when I tell them that not only do I not own a car, it’s by choice, I’ve been without one for nearly 8 years now and I don’t particularly want one.  There’s a certain measure of sympathy that people give me when they first learn of it and I have to actively convince them that it’s not a burden to me.

The first question they ask, almost without fail, is "How do you do your grocery shopping?" and the answer is simple, I take a cab home and the driver helps me carry my groceries to the door.  The next question they ask is about laundry, but I live less than a block from the laundromat.

Most people assume that, because I don’t have a car, everything is less convenient for me, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.  I’ve made life decisions that make it easier for me to live without a car.  Things like proximity to bus lines, laundromat, shopping, etc. are key to making this type of lifestyle work.

My transportation costs are less than anyone else I know.  Except for the rare occasions that I rent a car, my monthly transportation costs are less than $100.  Annually, including car rental and whatever bus or train trips I take, probably I spend between $1500 - $1800.  I don’t have to pay for gas, maintenance, insurance, etc.  As a result I never have to rely on credit to "get through".

It’s interesting to me.  The whole Climate Change/Global Warming argument consists of a question of whether or not humans are the cause of the climate shift that is occurring the world over.  There is evidence that the current climate change started around the time of the Industrial Revolution, but no proof that it was the cause.  It’s possible that it may have been a coincidence.

Ok, I’ll accept that.  But why does the lack of proof of human-driven climate change preclude the benefit to everyone of being more green in their daily lives?  There is this assumptive arrogance that we somehow deserve to have everything we want the moment we desire it and it is causing our society to become something less than it really ought to be.

People buy on credit to the point of being drastically in debt.  Even our government is guilty of this, and it’s not for the good of society or for the good of greater than ourselves, it’s a selfish instant gratification that we’re after.  This is fleeting, so we crave it over and over and over again until we are addicted to STUFF.  To buying.  To "free money" that winds up being way more expensive in the long run than we ever really realize.

I look at the current economy, where the value of our dollar is falling, where credit card debt is eating people alive, where people are losing their homes because they took the lenders up on a deal that really was too good to be true and I can’t help but wonder how much of this could have been avoided by being more green in our daily lives.

I shop biweekly for groceries and I spend around $125 each time.  This is to feed 2 people and 3 cats and it seems exorbitant to me.  One thing I’ve noticed is that most of that cost is from fresh fruits and vegetables, fresh fish and soy meat-substitutes.  Eating healthy is more expensive than eating crap foods.  This is actually something that’s been getting a lot of media attention lately as they’re starting to make the connection between cheap junk foods, poverty and obesity.  I rarely "cook" prepackaged foods, preferring to cook real food and have a real meal.  I think that pancakes taste better when I make them from scratch than when I use pancake mix.  I think that macaroni and cheese is sublime when it’s made with a mix of cheeses and simmered on the stove, but I find that colors that do not occur in nature turn my stomach when they turn up on my plate.

And, you know, even if I buy less food and spend more money, I find that it lasts me as long as I need it to.  My meals are planned out, not to the day, but for the two weeks and if, for some reason we don’t want whatever is left, I can create something from the ingredients I have in the house.  I can get ideas for new food creations from the packaged, processed foods, but I don’t have to deal with the sodium content or the excess packaging and, you know what?  Mine tastes BETTER, even if it takes a little longer to make.

Every workday I walk 2.5 miles.  Every single workday.  Why?  Because I have to.  Because in the morning my bus drops me almost a half mile from my building and in the afternoon I have to walk just over 2 miles to catch the bus home.  I don’t belong to a gym (that I never go to), I don’t have exercise machines (collecting dust), I just walk because I have to, and I do it without complaint.  In the rain, in the snow, in the wind, in the cold, it doesn’t matter.  I made a choice to not own a car and with that comes a requirement to walk.

People sometimes gasp when I tell them, with my rosy red cheeks and slight pant to my breath, that I walked 2 miles in the snow.  it’s inconceivable to so many people to walk that far, especially every day, but after sitting at a desk for 8, 9, 10 hours and about to sit on a bus for another hour, it’s actually quite a nice break.  Even Spawn who is, self-admittedly, one of the laziest people on the planet suggested that we walk a good distance toward our destination when we went out this weekend and it becomes simply part of going out.

People with children, I think, often underestimate their children’s capabilities.  Susie can’t or shouldn’t walk to or from school and Johnny couldn’t possibly take a bus across town to see his friend.  But they really can, and SHOULD, because it gives them independence and sets them up for a healthy life as they get older.  This idea that we must drive our children everywhere and rearrange our schedules to suit their whims and desires simply reinforces the entitlements that our entire society is about to see come crashing down around them in the form of a recession.

You see, you can’t disconnect the economic issues from the environment.  They are intrinsically entwined.  The availability of money leads us to consume in wasteful manners and to assume that we have every right to do these things because we can afford it.  But we can’t really afford it.

I’m hoping that the impending recession and the falling dollar and rising gas prices and bursting housing bubble will cause people to wake up a little to their actions instead of continuing the automaton borrowing cycle.  I hope that people will start carpooling in greater numbers or start using public transportation.  I hope that people will realize that 3 blocks isn’t too far to walk and that the kids don’t actually need a ride to the mall, when the bus runs right past their house.

Because, really, the biggest problem is that so often we can’t see past our personal bubbles, and so often we can’t get past our own entitlement.  I don’t want to see people hurt.  I don’t want to see people fail.  At the same time, I can’t help but think that all these people in severe credit card debt, all these people looking for something for nothing, all these people who think that it’s their RIGHT to do whatever they want with no repercussions, all those people set themselves up for a fall.  And right now they’re all teetering on the brink of personal economic collapse, while the rest of us hold our breaths to see what the bigger picture will bring.

But in the meantime, the greener I am, the greener I see people around me acting, the more money we save and the healthier we are and the less of an impact that we make on the whole world around us.  I just can’t seem to see any way in which that is a bad thing.  I think that a lot of people would wind up being personally benefiting from taking a broader view and doing things to benefit more than just themselves.  I just don’t know how to make that sort of thing happen.

Until then, I am trying to set a good example.

The Definition of Ten

January 21st, 2008

Spawn and I have a new game that we’ve been playing for a little while.  We only just named it "The Definition of Ten" because, frankly, it needed a name.

It’s pretty simple, really, and I’m sure that others play this same game, but unlikely they do it to the degree we do.  "On a scale of 1-10…" is how it starts, but it was defined when Spawn would answer (how hungry are you or how badly do you need to find a bathroom) before I had defined what 10 actually was.  "Don’t you want to know what 10 is?" I would ask and he would say yes, then, after he heard the definition of 10, he would bump his originally given number down by one.

So it has become a game of clever definitions of 10.  Examples include: "so hungry I would eat [least favorite food that he’s forced to eat on a regular basis - not by me]" [I need to pee so badly], just hand me a cup", [in reference to cold] "what are those penguins doing here?"

We have altered the game so that the definition of 10 is given before the underlying question (how cold is it, how hungry are you, how much do you like this) is asked.  That saves us the time of having to ask "But don’t you want to know what 10 is?"

We’re both pretty clever and witty and will take the extra few seconds to come up with something that will both get the other person wondering what the basic question is going to be and also maybe get a chuckle or at least a smile.  The best part, I think, is that we both win when we play because it’s not a competition, it’s just a way to get the other person to smile.

This is the good stuff…

January 18th, 2008

Spawn bought himself a bass.  He worked out a deal with my stepfather to give him the money he saved and will work the rest of it off.  Not only am I happy to see him actually have the instrument he wanted, but the motivation he’s expressed to actually work off the rest of the money is real growth for him.

Next up, hitting up the music teacher at the school to find out if he can get lessons that way.  Otherwise, he’ll be exploring other options and we’ll hook him up with good lessons.  I’ve asked him to make an effort to take lessons for 6 more months, making music lessons in general a full year project.  He seems willing.

******

When I started my current job, I spent a lot of time lamenting the lack of a comprehensive training document.  As such, when I found some downtime during the holidays, I decided to write the document that I wish was handed to me.

When it was complete, I passed it on to management where it has been very well received.  I have been praised for having taken the initiative and for having done an excellent job.  I am pleased with that reception as well as the feeling of accomplishment that I got for having completed something that I wished had been available for me, especially something that is not only useful but simple and comprehensive.

This is something I’ve done in every (applicable) job that I’ve ever worked.  Obviously, some of the jobs it just didn’t apply to, like when I migrated people from an outdated technology to a new one, but those exceptions aside, it’s a pretty consistent project for me.

Someone needs to do it…  and that someone is me!

******

My mom and stepdad are going to be out of town for almost a week next week and will be loaning me one of their cars while they’re gone.  This means that, including the MLK holiday on Monday I will be bus-free for 3/5 days next week and 2/5 the following week.  It’s a nice break from the chaos of the bus and I’m sure that the stress of traffic will make me remember one of the reasons I take the bus in the first place (so I don’t have to deal with traffic!)

******

This should be a good weekend.  Spawn and I have lots of plans to keep us busy and we’ll take care of some much-needed shopping and errands.  Hopefully we can make it through and keep busy enough to avoid the "OMG, Why are you still here???" feelings that we both sometimes fall into.

Although, I will say, I’ve been enjoying his company more and more.  You’d think that the teenage years would be the opposite, but he claims to have gotten all the snottiness and know-it-all out of his system back when he was 9/10/11 years old.  I suppose only time will tell…

Are you kidding me?!?

January 17th, 2008

Here’s how it goes:  Every other Wednesday my paycheck is deposited in my bank account.  Instead of going straight home, I go to the grocery store and shop for 2 weeks worth of groceries.  I call a cab and put my groceries in, get in the cab, ask the fare, pay the driver and go home.  The driver helps me bring my bags to the stoop.

I’ve been doing this for the almost year-and-a-half that I’ve been living in my current apartment.  Prior to that I still took cabs fairly often and, since my dad worked for the company, I ALWAYS call the same cab company.  They know and like me there and I know and like them to.

So yesterday, when I went through my regular routine, I didn’t think anything of the unknown driver that I got.  I asked her the fare ($6.75) and handed her $8 as we left the parking lot.  She sorted the money I gave her and counted her wad.  Then she proceeded to bitch about everything.

Because she got stood up on a really good fare, which caused her to miss a second good fare.  Things have been slow since the students were off for the holidays, so money is tight and having to renew her hack license is going to cost her a good chunk of change at the end of the month.  The guys who drive her cab during the day usually short her tank so she is shorting it at night, in return.  She can’t believe that the drivers aren’t drug tested (those addict slackers) and apparently has been very vocal about it to the dispatcher.

And on and on and on…  Which I generally don’t mind.  It’s not my stress and it’s not my drama, but knowing a lot of these guys, knowing what they go through and knowing how many of them are courteous to those who share their cab, I really have no sympathy for anything this woman is saying.  Clearly she used to be a driver in some other city and doesn’t like the way it works here.  I don’t think she’s long for this particular company, to be honest, since they have the most polite, friendly, capable drivers I’ve ever experienced.  She can’t see that.

So we get to my house and we bring the bags to the stoop.  She says "You have to give me $6.75."  I said, "Are you kidding me?  I already gave you $8 when we pulled out of the Hannaford parking lot."  "No you didn’t.  I COUNTED my money and I have the same amount."  "No, you counted your money after I gave you $8, a $5 and 3 $1’s." 

This goes on for a few minutes and I’m just SHOCKED.  I mean, not only did I pay her, I tipped her and she was so wrapped up in her head that she is now accusing me of stiffing her on the fare.  Not only have I never stiffed anyone on a fare (or a tab or anything else), but I even go so far as to call the company to cancel my cab if it turns out I don’t need it.  They know me there, have known me for some 7? 8? years and I value my relationship with them.

So I turn around, unlock my door and IMMEDIATELY call the cab company to explain this situation.  I won’t be ripped off by a pissed off woman that I not only paid, but TIPPED (although at this point, I kind of wish I hadn’t tipped her).

So I talk to the dispatcher who was a friend of my father’s.  I explain the situation and say "Look, I don’t want this to cause me to wind up blacklisted here.  I like this company, I like the people and I DO NOT like being treated this way by some random woman who is so busy complaining about her job that she can’t even do it correctly."  He explains to me that I’m not going to get blacklisted.  This isn’t going to affect my relationship with the company, but that (get this!) if she decides to call the police, it’s going to be her word against mine.

Fuck.

Well she finally drives off and, at this point I don’t know if she has talked to dispatch or if she’s called the police or if she’s going to call the police or what is going on at this point.  And I’m thinking, you know, I kind of hope that she does, because not only will I have the police officer call the cab company as a reference that I have been using them exclusively for years and have an established relationship, but would make the point that she had now (after ALREADY being paid) lost more fares and made less money all because she wanted to squeeze an additional $6.75 out of me.

Well, she didn’t call the police.  And that’s good, because, really, how bad does a Wednesday need to get?  But the bottom line for me is that I’m a pretty sympathetic and empathetic person most of the time, right up until the point where you accuse of me of illegal and immoral behavior when I have done nothing wrong and listened to your lunatic rantings.  It was her unprofessional behavior that caused her to not pay attention to her fare actually paying her.  I’m a little concerned for her future customers.

I also find it interesting that, for the past 2 months or so, this is the first time I haven’t shared a cab with another fare.  So there was no one there to say "No, she paid you as we left the parking lot."

Frankly, considering how vehemently against her company, her co-workers, the fees that are required in her job and the general population of the city, I think she really ought to look into another line of work.  One that, preferably, doesn’t require her to interact with people.

I didn’t realize what day it was…

January 16th, 2008

…until we were halfway through the Bucket List.

10 minutes before the movie ended, it wasn’t the grief in the movie that hit me, but the humor and I started sobbing silently.  Wracked with physical sobs, tears streaming down my face, the only sound I made in the theater was that of blowing my nose.

To tell the whole truth, the light humor in this movie about a dark subject…  this is how it went for us with Dad.  He joked until the end, so we did, too.  It had to be funny because that’s what his whole life was about.

I think, that had I realized what day it was, I would have suggested that we see a movie NOT about people dying of cancer.  Had I realized what day it was, I might have warned the other 5 people who didn’t know me a year ago and not put Princess in the position of having to explain why I was so lost in my emotions that I couldn’t even really move or put on my coat, let alone talk about it.

And I wish I could have explained that it was not only ok, but good for me to have that reaction.  That it wasn’t unhealthy and, while unexpected, it wasn’t too much.  That I’m fine and please keep laughing because, in my family, we don’t do solemn very well or for very long.  That I don’t want to be cajoled or comforted or any of that sort of thing in a movie theater.  That it was the shock of how fitting it was to see this movie, on this day, and not any kind of unresolved emotions or repression that caused me to break like that.  That it was the humor in the movie and the lessening of it in my daily life that made me cry, so much more than the grief.

But I didn’t come away from it feeling judged.  If there was an uncomfortable moment, it’s not one that I feel I need to apologize for and I think that it’s more a situation of others not really knowing quite what to do.  And what they did - just letting me have that moment and then moving on - was exactly the right thing to do.

So I came home and got in touch with someone that I hadn’t seen in a year and hadn’t talked to in a couple months.  I think it was something that we both needed.  And I sent an email to my father’s widow because I knew that she needed to be reached out to a little, too.

But I still wish that I had realized what day it was earlier, and not gotten blindsided by it.

On change and hope and the importance of elections

January 14th, 2008

They keep saying "This is the most important election of your life," and they’re not wrong.

Candidates are telling us that they are a catalyst for "Change" and that they are giving us "Hope".  They want to reclaim their respective parties and get back to the roots of what they used to mean.

And how gullible are we?  How badly do we want to no longer live in FEAR of unnamed enemies and untold dangers?

We may get record high voter turnout this year, but that honestly concerns me, since I don’t think that people are actually voting for the candidate who best represents them.  This is all about image and charisma and style and that’s not the criteria we should be using this time around.

I’m going to tell you a couple of truths and let you in on some things that are, but shouldn’t be secrets.

EVERY election is the most important election of your life.  If you get it wrong, you’ll be screwed for 4 years.  If you get it right, then maybe things will be good for 4 years, but EVERY election is the most important one.  This is the most important election SO FAR.  2012 will become the most important election, then 2016.  Once it’s done, it’s done and, immediately, the next election is the most important election of your life.

That said, there’s only one way to get it "right" and that isn’t just to vote, and certainly not for someone who is attractive or who plucks your heartstrings when s/he speaks.  You should vote for the person who is going to make YOUR life better.  What does that mean?  I don’t know.  I don’t know you the way you know yourself and the things that would make my life better, or my child’s life better may not be the same as the answers you have.

If you’re not going to go out there and learn about the person you think you like, I’d rather you stay home on primary and election days.  Really.  Because this is the most important election of your life…  so far…  and I’d prefer that you know who and what you’re voting for instead of pretending that these people are movie stars and their vote counts are on par with box office receipts, that their delegates are going to garner them an Oscar instead of the highest office in the COUNTRY.

We get change NO MATTER WHAT.  It doesn’t matter who wins this election, we will get change.  Not just from whatever administration we wind up having, but from the entire world.  Living a life that is unchanging and static isn’t really possible.  You can try, but you will fail and you’ll wind up being bitter and angry because you can’t stop the rest of the world from changing around you.

Any single candidate who gets elected will be a different person than the president we have now.  He (or she) will make different decisions and have different perspectives and different priorities.  Things will change whether it’s a Democrat or a Republican.  Nothing stays the same…  The candidates who are promising change are making the emptiest promise (though the easiest to keep) that can possibly be make.  Change is a given, so what are you REALLY going to do for me?

And what about hope?  Do you need a politician to give you hope, really?  If you don’t have hope and you believe that the process is so broken that it cannot be salvaged, then you shouldn’t be supporting an establishment candidate.  You shouldn’t be supporting a career politician.  You should be working to make a real change in how the process works, whether it’s supporting a third-party candidate or pushing legislative change or constitutional amendment. 

Hope is fleeting.  What do you hope for?  What is it that you wish for and anticipate and, tell me, because few people can, is the person (whoever that may be) that you’re rallying around going to give you what YOU want?  It all comes down to getting informed.

Let’s say that one candidate has inspired you to believe in the election process again.  That’s wonderful!  Now go and find out EXACTLY what that candidate believes in…  and compare it to what the other candidates believe in.  Then you can decide who actually represents you.  You simply cannot vote for someone based on celebrity or charisma and think that you are somehow participating in the political process.  You’re not.  You are, in fact, making it worse if you don’t take the time to vote your principles.

We’re all caught up in the glamour and the feuds and the Hollywoodization of the entire political sphere.  McCain and Romney are lashing out at each other in attack ads.  Obama and Clinton are fighting about race politics.  THIS DOESN’T MATTER, PEOPLE.  This is the same pablum as Anna Nicole Smith’s death and Paris Hilton’s jail stint and Brittany Spears’ hospitalization.  It’s completely meaningless and only serves as a distraction from the things that are actually important to YOUR daily life.

These are the questions you should be asking, in regards to every candidate:

What are the issues that are important to me, and do any of the candidates agree with me on all of them?

Do I care about the legacy that my generation is leaving to successive generations?  What needs to be done to make the world a better place for them?

We’re entering a recession, what do the candidates intend to do to strengthen the dollar?

The entire world is in flux right now.  Should we be monitoring activities overseas?  If so, to what degree?  Where should the focus lie, in the US or abroad?  In what proportions?  Which candidates are best equipped to implement the policies and changes both in and out of the country?

It doesn’t matter who you support if you can’t articulate WHY.  It doesn’t even matter *that* you support someone if the only reasons are because they have charmed you or appeal to you aesthetically.

Look, we all need to accept that we should be voting for the best possible candidate.  We all should be trying to choose someone who represents what we believe most strongly in.  Buzz words are meaningless.  Constitution or Change or Hope or Ready or whatever…  none of these mean a thing in real terms. 

Look at the voting records.  Look at the work that each person has done outside of politics.  Look at the speeches and the debates and really listen to what’s being said.  Listen to the criticisms that other people have and find out if they’re valid concerns.  Determine if the negatives are spun in the sense of "Well what s/he meant when s/he said that was…" because spin generally doesn’t equal belief.

Stop.  Think.  Get informed.

Because this is the most important election of your life…  until next time.  And this change will last forever…  until it’s undone in 4 years.

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