There are always stories, but there aren’t always good points to end on. The stories that are mine to tell, at least in part, haven’t come to a stopping point, and I’m loathe to give something that will be "to be continued."
And so it goes.
Then there are the stories that simply aren’t mine to tell. As interesting as many of those are, they aren’t mine and I cannot share.
And so it goes.
Once again, as a calendar year ends, nostalgia finds me. Several people I had lost touch with have, in some form, made an appearance in my life. The stories I have about them have been told and need no rehashing. The parts of the stories that have not been told publicly will remain untold, publicly, probably forever. Some things need to remain unsaid.
And so it goes.
I got a message the other day that some random person found my MySpace page, liked my music and wants to book me for a gig. I haven’t yet replied to the message. I’m not sure if it’s something I want or not.
A friend of mine who reappeared after falling off the face of my world asked me about my writing and if I was still writing outside of the blog. It’s embarrassing to admit that I haven’t even been writing ON the blog, let alone off it. I have all of these ideas that I simply cannot translate, but that feels so much like an excuse that I don’t consider it valid. I’m not doing it and I should be.
In fact, the entire idea of "not doing it and should be" applies to every aspect of creativity that I involve myself in. That people are asking me about it in the most positive possible ways makes me feel like this is the nicest kick in the pants I could have asked for. Maybe this needs to be a resolution.
And so it goes.
I’m still not sure what I’m doing for New Year’s Eve, but after the past few quiet New Year’s in, I think it’s time to make a point to have a night out again. I don’t know what I’m interested in or what bars are even on the list of maybes, but I need to find something…
And so it goes.
I’m feeling antsy and dissatisfied. Something’s gotta give, but I’m lost in terms of figuring out what changes I need to make for things to be more satisfying. All the ideas that I have are too grandiose and it seems like there’s some small-scale stuff that’s just out of sight, or just out of my reach. I’m not even sure how to find out what those things are, but I’m working on it.
And so it goes. And so it goes. And so it goes.