Aug 30

The transition from August to September is difficult for me.  We have, in my family, three birthdays in four days.  My mother kicks it off on the 29th, then we have a day off, then me, then my little brother.  It’s a lot of birthday and a lot of cake and I generally wind up exhausted by the time it’s over.

This year I asked my mother what kind of cake she wanted.  She replied that she wanted "something fruity".  This is pretty vague and I had to think for a while, but I remembered a "cake" that I had made some years back and decided to revisit it.  It’s based on my regular cream puff recipe, but adds fruit to it.  It tastes wonderful and is exceptionally easy to make, so I decided to share it.

Summer’s Last Hurrah, a recipe by FyreGoddess

You start by taking 3/4 cup of water and 1/3 cup of butter and bring them to a boil.  Once they have boiled, remove them from heat and add 3/4 cup of flour.  Add 3 eggs, one at a time.  For cream puffs, you would drop the puffs onto an ungreased cookie sheet, but since this is a single cake, you instead pour all the batter into the center of an ungreased cookie sheet and cook at 400 for 15-25 minutes, or until it’s golden on top.

For the cream, you simply fold together 1 cup of vanilla pudding and 1/4 cup whipped heavy cream.

When it has cooled, cut the puff in half.  Warning:  It will fall after it comes out of the oven, but because we’re stuffing it with goodness, that’s nothing to worry about.

Layer summer fruits with the cream inside the puff shell.  For mom’s birthday I started with thinly sliced peaches and plums, a layer of cream, then a mix of raspberries, blackberries and blueberries, then another layer of cream and the lid.  The reason for the name is that August/September is the last of the summer fruit season, so I take summer fruits to use in the layers.  Were you to use a different season’s fruits, you might call it "Autumn’s Last Hurrah" or something, but I think that summer fruits work best.

Once the cake is assembled, take 4oz of dark chocolate and 1T of butter.  Melt in a double boiler and drizzle over the top of the cake.

Mmmmm.  So delicious.

Mom says she wants this cake every year.  RC2 says he also wants this cake on *his* birthday.  Chaos says I should make more cream puffs.

Heh.

Aug 19

I’ve been talking about it for ages, and it’s always seemed like something that should have existed before now.  Finally, FINALLY, the local bus company has gotten a public transportation option on Google Maps.

I get nothing for this post, just fyi.  It is, however, something I have been wanting and waiting for for YEARS now.  Now, instead of having to sit down with multiple bus schedules and try to figure out which buses connect where and at what time, I can just punch in where I’m starting, where I want to go and what time I want to get there and it tells me exactly what time to catch each bus, where I’m going to transfer and everything I need to know!

This makes my life so much easier.  There are all kinds of places I know I can get to – places where I know the bus goes, but because I’m not familiar with those routes, I don’t even really know how to get there.  Places like my doctor’s office.  It’s in an area of town where I just don’t go, simply because I’m not familiar with the bus(es) that run out there and how to connect to them, but now it’s not an issue!

To me this makes the entire public transit of the city infinitely more accessible to everyone.  Instead of having this vague idea that one can get almost anywhere, people can simply map it out and not have to worry about memorizing schedules or routes. 

The problem is that I doubt very many people are even aware that this exists.  I haven’t seen any real push to get it known…  it’s just a blurb that I happened to find on the Transit Authority’s website.  It’s apparently available in many places around the US, so if you’re not in my area, you can check it out and see if it lists your city, too.

It’s about damned time.

Aug 18

There was a luncheon event at the library.  A woman who had run for local political office and a self-proclaimed "political junkie" was reviewing a book about Obama’s campaign.  She wasn’t a very good speaker, giving a talk peppered with "Ums" and "Ahs" and what she had to say wasn’t particularly interesting.  I wasn’t interested in the book before she reviewed it and was even less interested after.

However, I was intent on making a go of this and trying new things.

"Light refreshments will be served" was the promise and, while I was not expecting much, I was expecting something more than apple juice and Ritz crackers.  Also, considering the library is right downtown and very close to government offices, I was expecting a more mixed audience.  Of the 40 or so people there, more than 75% were OLD and only two were not white.

When the speaker was done making her review, the floor was opened to discussion.  It wasn’t really discussion of the book, though, it was a broader political discussion that was taking place.  One old man stood up to say that he thought that Obama should ressurrect FDR’s fireside chats and find a way to listen to what people thought.  I interjected that this was happening on the internet, quite often in fact, but was completely ignored for having said that.

Well, not completely, since the gentleman in front of me acknowledged me and called it a generation gap.  That he and the rest of the old men and women were not likely to understand the importance or reliance on the internet, so this idea of radio broadcasts or television broadcasts made the most sense.  I disagree and told him so, because most people will just change the channel, especially those who hold the most common misconceptions and embrace them.  It was a nice side conversation we had.

But the general conversation turned to the ridiculousness of the "birthers" – those who question whether or not Obama was born in Hawaii as his birth certificate states.  The question was how do people believe this and, by the way, what is the process for determining citizenship for presidential candidates, anyway?

Because she had run for local office, our speaker explained that she thought that it was a case of citizenship being a presumption and that no one would look into it unless it was challenged.

This is ridiculous, false and a fear-mongering response to make to anyone questioning the process.  I was so angry that I jumped up and interrupted her.  We are forced to produce evidence of citizenship on a regular basis, and that’s just those of us who aren’t involved in politics.  We prove our citizenship with every government document we request, with every passport application, with every new job we apply for.  We regularly have to produce our birth certificate and/or social security card.  That’s just to live a normal life.

Add in security clearance, which top officials need to have.  This requires a background check, which would ferret out any issue of non-citizenship early into the process and would, most likely, cause security clearance to be denied.  Even a standard background check for employment would find that information, but we’re talking about military clearance that is required of higher officials.  The bottom line is that no one could possibly get anywhere near the nomination for President without having been thoroughly vetted and their citizenship proven beyond a doubt.

In return I got blank stares.  Apparently, the only expert in the room was the speaker, who was sharing misinformation with old people, rather than to say "I actually don’t know the answer to that question."  The old people were resentful of me for correcting the misinformation of the speaker.  The speaker was resentful of me for correcting her and for (as far as I can tell) being more knowledgable about the political sphere than she. 

So I left.  I was done with the whole political discussion, such as it was.  I remembered why I dislike the liberals of this area as the speaker went on about how proud she was to have helped elect a black man to office – how difficult it was for the country to choose between the first black president and the first woman president.  In a sea of white faces, she went on and on about how good a person she was for voting for a black man (even though she would have preferred to vote for a woman).

I won’t go back for another political review/discussion/whatever, but I think I will give it another try.  There’s a talk coming up about orangutans in the wild and that sounds interesting.  Also, since it’s someone’s personal experience, the liklihood of them being outright WRONG about the answers to the questions is unlikiely.  We’ll see what happens.

Aug 17

I had three good ideas this weekend on ways to enrich my life and find new ways to meet people and to engage myself in new things.

Getting a new library card was at the crux of the entire thing.  It turns out that the library has all kinds of cool programs going on that I might be able to use to meet new people or to, at least, find new interests.  The one that really appeals to me is a Tuesday lunch program.  Every week they review a different book or discuss a new topic.  I don’t know that I’ll be interested in everything they have to offer, but I’m certainly interested in some of the things.

This is put on by the Friends of the library, who, apparently, are also often looking for volunteers to help with things like book drives and book sales.  I think this is something I could be interested in, so I’m going to see what they’re about and find out if it’s actually something I’m interested in and maybe get some literature about the group that’s putting on the series.  If nothing else, I feel like I’m on the right track.

I’ve also decided to finally join the co-op.  Up to now, it’s been an issue of just not having the time to volunteer but I am significantly less busy than I used to be and I’m sure I can find the time.  Volunteering 3 hours (either a week or a month, I haven’t decided yet) will absolutely introduce me to new people and probably people I have things in common with, since co-op members tend to be at least a little bit fringey.

I doubt I’ll do all my shopping at the coop, but I’d like to at least buy my produce and my cheese there.  With a discount of 10 or 26%, it shouldn’t be any more expensive than at the supermarket, and will be better quality.  The only delay with this is that I need to attend an orientation, which appears to be about 3 hours long.  I won’t be able to attend one until some time in September, but that’s ok, I’m going today to sign up for a session and get the ball rolling.

The third idea I had is probably not going to do a whole lot to introduce me to new people, but will serve to get me out of the house.  I’ve already talked Slockin into this one, which is working from a cafe one afternoon a week.  Since Slockin and I both WFH on Thursdays, we’ll hit up a cafe with free WiFi on Thursday afternoons and force ourselves out of our respective apartments.

Having spent the past week laid up with itchy hives, I’ve had a lot of time to think.  I tried to go out and do things, at least as they came up, but by the weekend I was going pretty stir crazy and trying, desperately, to come up with a way out of this stagnancy.  The library was one of those things where I had the idea, got up and just did it.  Now I need to keep that ball rolling.  I feel pretty good about it.  We’ll see how it goes.

Aug 15

I love to read.  I pretty much eat books, but I’ve been without a library card for a very long time now.  I was prowling around the house looking for something to read when I decided it was time to get a new library card.  I checked their hours and headed over, stopping to pick up a magazine that came in the mail, and tucking it in my bag.

"What do I need to do to get a library card?" I asked when I got there.  They replied that I needed a photo id and a piece of mail postmarked within the last month.  I checked my bag, not thinking I would actually have any mail and found the magazine that I had tucked in my bag.  "Will this work?" I asked, knowing that for most official or government situations, this magazine wouldn’t work.  The librarian was so impressed that I just *happened* to have any kind of mail in my bag, he let me get away with it :-)

I took out 5 novels and signed up for the waiting list for Julia Child’s "My Life in France".

Next up:  I need to find out if there are any book clubs through that branch of the library.

Aug 13

I’ve been in quite a funk for some time.  Part of that comes from before I started writing my whole self-examination stuff, but some of it is just new.

I didn’t really tell anyone, but I decided back in April to quit smoking after Falcon Ridge.  I went to the doc before I went to the festival and got a prescription for Zyban, which I started taking the day I left for the festival.  I smoked my last Camel shortly before we left FRFF and then used up the last of the tobacco that my brother had brought me as a gift from his time in Arizona.  10 days after I started taking the Zyban, I quit smoking.  That was 12 days ago.

A week ago (Wednesday), out of the blue, I got really weepy.  Just all of a sudden I started crying and crying for no apparent reason.  I cried myself to sleep and had some really bizarre dreams.  The next day was more of the same, only this time it was while I was trying to talk to Spawn.  I wasn’t actually upset, but it sure looked like it.  There I was, cooking dinner, trying to joke while tears streamed down my face and I kind of sobbed.

I decided to stop taking the Zyban.

But with anti-depressants, you’re not supposed to stop cold turkey, so instead I cut back from 2 a day to 1 a day and figured after a few days of that I would just stop the Zyban entirely.  The next day (Friday) I went out with Mom and my niece Moon to see a play of Charlotte’s Web.  I noticed that the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet were slightly itchy, but I brushed it off.  Mom noticed that I had some nasty bug bites on my elbow while we were at the (outdoor) play, so she put some After Bite on it…  I hadn’t really noticed it before, so there was no relief to even be had.

That night I was COVERED in an itchy rash that I was convinced was poison ivy.  I did some quick research on the internet for home remedies, but nothing at all worked on it.  I spent a mostly sleepless night trying to stop the itching and, in the morning (Saturday) I decided that I needed to go to Urgent Care and this was NOT poison ivy, but hives.

I stopped taking the Zyban.

The urgent care doc put me on Prednisone, which I have now taken fully and I’ve been covering the intermittent hives/rash with cortisone.  It’s helping, but not gone.  Sunday I went with Mom and Moon to 6 Flags, which was an ok distraction from the itchy itchy itchy that I’ve been trying to deal with…  it didn’t help fully, but it was certainly better than sitting home doing nothing.  We had a pretty good time.

So this entire week has been trying to deal with these hives.  The internet says that approximately 6% of people experience hives/rashes from Zyban and that they can last 2-4 weeks!  This is not cool, but I don’t really see how I have much of an option in terms of symptoms.

So I’m still not smoking and not really wanting a cigarette, which is good, but I have these other lingering feelings of dissatisfcation, which isn’t something new.  I have no idea how to get from where I am now to wherever it is that I want to be, but covered in hives doesn’t really seem to be on the right path.

I haven’t been writing about things because it’s all pretty depressing.  Hives and quitting smoking and the trivial stupid things that I’m not going to bother writing about don’t make for riviting reading, but it had been so long since I’d sat down and written, I decided I should just suck it up and put down the details.

And now I’m going to put on more cortisone.  *sigh*