October 13th, 2004
Instant Messaging is a curious thing for me. It is a rare moment that I am not signed into one, usually three, IM programs. However, it takes me a while to develop an IM relationship with someone.
I’m not one to make initial contact unless I have something important to say. I always fear imposing on someone or bothering them with my general (it’s in my nature) inanity. Not that I don’t have things to say in IM, good grief, I ALWAYS have something to say, I just wonder how important those things actually are… and if they’re more important than whatever else the recipient could be doing at the time.
I’ve felt imposed upon when IMed by people who have pretty much nothing to say. I’m not talking about my friend who sends me pick up lines when I’m not at the computer, I mean people who IM just to say “hi”, but continually prolong the lack of conversation by playing that nasty little IM game,
Last Word.
You know the game of which I speak. There’s no tone of voice in IM. Some people just have to have the last word. Saying goodbye becomes endless because of the barrage of “c ya”, “bye” and “ttyl”. What I consider to be imposing is just calling to say hello, having no conversation at all and THEN playing that game.
All that said, I don’t think that I do that sort of thing. In fact, most of the time I IM out of boredom and conversation just forms. When I’m done, I tend to just sort of fade away or wander off, but getting to the point of just IMing out of boredom is difficult for me. I wonder if I am being perceived as imposing when I don’t have a set purpose or a really good conversation starter.
*Side note… I find myself wondering if this is part of where the “Irreverent Question of the Month” came from. It probably started around the same time as my internet habit.*
For me, IM conversations are something that develop from email exchanges. Once you start going back and forth with someone in email, it’s easy to transition that into a real-time discussion, and often it facilitates the communication and friendship-forming processes. When I don’t get that part first, I just have no opening lines.
Sometimes, though, I lose touch with people for the exact same reason. I worry that I will be imposing upon them and simply do not double-click to say hello. Usually, though, if the relationship is well-formed, one of us will eventually say “Hey, I haven’t talked to you in a while. What’s going on?” The others fade away as any other acquaintanceship or friendship is liable to do if not maintained.
Maybe it’s a self-esteem problem. Seems odd that I would worry more about that sort of thing online than off, but I think it’s accurate. I am worried that what I have to say will be less interesting than what someone is already doing.
~FG };^>
Posted in Essays/Rants, Technology and Internet |
Still silent so far.
