Are you funny?
April 17th, 2007Ok, I need your help.
A friend of mine has asked me for a favor. He has been sending jokes to his sister via text message every day and he’s exhausted his store. Now, I have a good number of lightbulb jokes and a few musician jokes, but most of the jokes I know (and love) are too long for a text message.
That’s where you come in 
Tell me your best jokes that are up to (but no longer than) 160 characters. If u need 2 abbrev., that’s fine as long as the whole joke is small enough to fit in a text message. You can either post them in the comments or email them to me using the Contact Me page.
Any and all assistance is not only greatly appreciated, but it serves to spread joy in the world. But, you know, if you’re selfish, then just ask and I’ll give you a joke that’s too long to fit in a text message. I can’t promise that people will laugh, but probably most of them will groan.
A man walks into a bar……he says ouch.
hahahaha, it’s funny cause it sucks.
Comment by Ed � April 17, 2007 @ 14:09 pm
How many abstract artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fish
What do a violist’s fingers and lightning have in common?
They never strike the same place twice.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
A viola burns longer.
Why does it burn longer?
It’s still full of beer.
What did the drummer get on the IQ test?
Drool
Yeah, most of my jokes are viola jokes…
Comment by Princess � April 18, 2007 @ 14:58 pm
Ok, you people suck for not giving me jokes. I know, I know, you’re trying to come up with “good” ones… well here are some of the ones that have come in:
why don’t lepers play hockey?
there might be a faceoff in the corner.
***
How do frogs like their pond water…..kneedeep,
kneedeep!!
***
What’s the difference between a refridgerator and a gay man?
Only one farts when you take the meat out.
***
These two dyslexics walk into a bra…
***
What do you call a Mexican without a bicycle?
Joaquin
***
What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?
A pilot… you racist bastard.
***
A guy walks into a pub shouting “Free drinks from I”. The bartender says
“No, free drinks from ME”. Guy: “Oh that’s even better!”.
***
A preist, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender goes up and says “What is this, some kind of joke?
***
How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?
100 - 1 to change the bulb and 99 to cross their arms, watch critically and think about how they could do it better.
***
What gets longer when you pull it and works best when jerked?
A seatbelt.
***
What do you call an epileptic having a fit in your garden?
Seizure salad
***
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Wherever you left him.
***
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs…
…on your wall? Art.
…in your pool? Bob.
…in the mailbox? Bill.
…with a gun in his mouth? Rob.
…on your doorstep? Matt.
…in your garden? Pete.
***
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
***
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
***
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
***
So, come on. My ex-husband’s lesbian sister is in need of some good laughs here, folks!
Comment by FyreGoddess � April 23, 2007 @ 10:29 am