Because they are our children, too.
January 28th, 2006(This is dedicated to Jason. I wouldn’t have written it had he not scolded us all.)
Most pet owners know better. They know that the word "owner" isn’t really accurate when you live with pets, or, at least, pets who have personality. That’s the key, too, personality. You can have the stupidest animal on the planet living with you, but when you come home and they’re happy to see you, when they give you affection, you know that they’re more than just some animal.
There are dog people. There are cat people. There are bird people. Name any animal that is traditionally a pet and there are people who will claim that they are the *best* animal to cohabitate with, but one thing that all of them have in common is a deep love and respect for their pets. I know more people who refer to themselves as Mom or Dad when talking to their animals than refer to themselves in any other way. My three boys love their Mommy - even my son will tell you the same thing.
We talk to our pets. We even go so far as to converse with our pets, creating their end of the dialog based on what the look on their face conveys. We have our own language, maybe related to baby-talk, maybe based in a foreign language, but always specific to our pets. We pamper them, we spoil them, we LOVE them - sometimes more than we love certain people.
They are our children, too. They need us to care for them on whatever levels. We often raise them from when they are babies and hope that they will grow to be happy and healthy and loving. Even when we adopt them at an older age, we strive to undo whatever pain they had in their early life and replace negative reactions with positive ones.
We invest time and money, but more importantly we invest parts of ourselves, of our emotions and whatever maternal/paternal instincts we have. We keep them from harm. We try to set a good example. We make sure that they know that they are loved. Because they are our children, too. They are our children as much as those that come from our bodies and from our DNA. They are our children as much as the ones whose diapers we change, the ones we put on the school bus, the ones who will eventually leave us to start their own families.
The difference is that our pets don’t sass us - at least not with words. They don’t get grounded. They don’t break our hearts. They don’t need the same freedom and they generally don’t leave. Our pets, our other children, when they leave us, it is forever. People who don’t live with animals, people who don’t give themselves so completely to another species just don’t understand that. And when our pets finally do leave us, they leave us forever and leave a void just like any other death would.
And so I brought myself to tears, writing this, surrounded by my fuzzy little boys, because I don’t think I ever really thought hard enough about this to put things into words. Now that I have, I don’t know that I’ll look at the death of a pet of someone else’s in the same light.
Because they are our children, too. Whether anyone else realizes it or not.
~FG };^>
This is the best written entry about the love of an animal I have seen and for me, right now, hits home. It is completely true and a very raw emotion in our house currently. If one doesn’t own an animal, they just don’t get it. Being a dog parent softens even the most hardened soul.
I have another very public blog that you may or may not have seen before (email me for the link - I would be happy to share) and found you through IT2M.
Comment by GD � January 28, 2006 @ 7:58 am
Thank you FG. I agree with what you said about people tending not to respond to the pieces on which the authors most crave feedback. I’ve already aired my views on being a pet parent, so I just wanted to post a quick comment here saying I loved what you wrote and I’m sorry I scolded you into writing it. Patience is a virtue…I’ll try to remember that next time.
-JB
Comment by Jason � January 28, 2006 @ 10:58 am
My kitty is my baby.
Comment by ariadneK � January 28, 2006 @ 16:05 pm
This was a really difficult piece for me to write. I had been thinking about it for a while and when I had the title, I just started going. I had one boy on my lap, one on my monitor and the other sitting on a chair next to me. They were all as serene and peaceful as they could possibly be.
It’s true that writing this has given me a different perspective on certain things. I know more people who treat their pets as children than who treat their pets as lesser beings.
One of my boys is a bad cat he’s tweaky and destructive and sometimes he bites. My mother used to tell me that I should get rid of him, but what she didn’t understand is that he’s my baby. When he’s sweet, he’s wonderful. When he’s affectionate, it’s completely relaxing. The fact that he’s high maintenance doesn’t really matter all that much because despite my mother’s comments of “He’s just a cat. Get rid of him.” He’s really so much more than that - to me, to the Spawn and to the other cats.
I’m really glad to be able to share this is a way other people can understand.
~FG };^>
Comment by FyreGoddess � January 28, 2006 @ 16:14 pm
yes, i definitely think of my 2 cats as my family, not “my pets”, ie ownership. they mean so much more than that.
Comment by stranger � January 28, 2006 @ 16:26 pm
Wow… so true… very nicely written.
Thanks for stopping by my site!
XXOO,
JTL
Comment by Jetting Through Life � January 28, 2006 @ 17:42 pm
This is very beautifully written! I think this should be published in paper! Your essay really touched my heart because I really love my pets and I would be devastated if they leave me for good :~(
Comment by dementia � January 28, 2006 @ 17:53 pm
You’re absolutely right!
This past Christmas, my family really pissed me off. My grandmother and uncle both gave our family money for Christmas. I asked them if they wanted us to spend it on anything in particular (ie, the kidlet’s RESP, etc). Well, my grandmother said I could spend it on anything I wanted to, just as long as we didn’t buy another dog with it, or spend it on our pets. That kinda pissed me off, but it was what my uncle said that almost sent me over the edge. He told me to spend the money on buying a bullet for my dog. HE TOLD ME TO SHOOT MY DOG. Well, if I wasn’t piss poor right now, I would have given the money right back to him (if I didn’t have a family to look after I would have-no matter HOW poor I was, but it wasn’t ONLY my money, so I couldn’t do that). I haven’t talked to him since Christmas, and I don’t really intend on talking to him unless he reaches out and possibly appologises.
Comment by Celena � January 28, 2006 @ 23:09 pm
I love this post. My dog is my baby girl and I would do anything to keep her safe and happy just like I do my son. I hate knowing that she will die someday, I know it will crush me.
This brings to mind a pretty little stray cat I found the other day. I found her in the storm drain and she finally let me pick her up and check her out. She had been declawed and was defenseless. How can people be so heartless and cruel? I wish I could of kept her, she was so pretty and sweet. Instead I had to put her in the car and take her to the shelter.
Comment by Crazy Like A Fox � January 29, 2006 @ 1:20 am
I will bite my tongue.
Comment by Ryan � January 30, 2006 @ 9:56 am
Sooo… you guys don’t raise your pets because they go nicely with a side of bbq sauce?!? Hmmm… interesting.
(I’m sorry, FG - please don’t ban me. *manages to look a little ashamed and then ruins it with a smirk*)
Comment by Parizad � January 30, 2006 @ 18:02 pm
Uh… Parizad?
I don’t have to ban you, I know your secret. Don’t make me tell…
Comment by FyreGoddess � January 30, 2006 @ 19:01 pm
Eeeeeeep! Meanie! I should roast YOU and have YOU for dinner.
Mmmm… succulent goddess… *drools*
Comment by Parizad � January 30, 2006 @ 20:02 pm