Campfyre Stories

Once upon a time there was a princess, riding in her horse-drawn carriage.  (Ok, ok, that’s a lie.  There was no princess, it was me.  And it wasn’t a carriage, I was riding the bus.)  Partway home, the carriage stopped and a giant came aboard with her boyfriend, Jack.  (Well, no… alright, his name wasn’t Jack.  Well, it might have been, but I don’t know his name.  But there really was a giant!  She must’ve been about 7 feet tall!  Maybe even taller.)

Anyway, the giant sat down in front of the princess me and tried to make herself comfortable, but being such a large woman, there wasn’t really much she could do to find comfort.  She found a distraction in the two little girls who sat in front of her.  She smiled at them, and then ate them!  (Sheesh.  Fine, she didn’t eat them, but it would have been a better story that way.)  She smiled at them, especially the youngest girl, who smiled back, but I could see the fear behind her eyes of the nice lady who was literally twice the size of her mother.

I was mean and laughing at the fear in the little girls eyes, but silently…  I wasn’t going to risk pissing off the giant who could have easily crushed me in one hand.  (Alright, maybe not one hand, but she totally could have crushed me if she wanted to.)  She did seem to really like children - for dinner! (Sorry.)

As the bus emptied, the giant found a spot where she could stretch out along two seats.  She only barely fit even there, but it seemed to make all the difference in the world.  Not just to her, but to the (dis)embarking passengers who were previously climbing over her mountainous shoes.  (Fine, not mountainous, but her shoes made my 9.5 womens look dainty by comparison and people were tripping over them, since her legs were so long that they stuck out into the aisle.)  I honestly can’t imagine where she buys her shoes.  Probably they have to be customed ordered.

When she got off the bus, I did feel pangs of empathy toward her.  Not only were people staring (unfortunately, me included), but she had to duck to get through the doorway of the bus and was risking smacking her head on tree branches, doorways, etc.  Her boyfriend didn’t come up to her shoulder, but he didn’t seem too fussed about it.

But, mostly, I’m intrigued by having had an encounter with a giant.