Now I’m not saying it *wasn’t* a happy new year, I just think I’m reserving judgment. Last year, all told, was pretty good for me. The last couple of months went a bit awry, but overall, I had a number of good things happen.
I feel very wait and see about 2009.
Spawn’s girlfriend came up from Westchester for about a week and I saw very little of him/them. I guess I probably saw more of them than most other adults, but I know what the long-distance relationship thing is like (boy do I ever), and I wanted to let them have their space and time together. They were chaperoned to the least degree of supervision…
Apparently I am the coolest/most permissive parent of the 21st century.
All of Spawn’s friends are amazed at how much freedom I give him. For example, on New Year’s Day he and his girlfriend went with her uncle to a town about an hour away. He called me to tell me that this was happening and that he’d be home late. They were having dinner out there, so I didn’t worry at all. He called me around 8:30 to tell me that they were still there and he’d be home when they were done. The call was prompted by the uncle, who didn’t want me to worry.
The next night the three of them went to a party together. The uncle asked me when I wanted Spawn home. I answered with a shrug. He asked "So, 3am is ok?" with a glint in his eye. I told him that 3 was fine, 11 would be fine, the next morning would be fine. I knew where he was going and who he was with and all three of them have my phone number. I see nothing at all about this to worry about.
When I was Spawn’s age, my parents trusted me. I didn’t have a curfew, but my parents wanted to know where I was going and who I’d be with. If I was at a party and there was alcohol, I was not to get in a car with anyone who had been drinking. I could call my parents to pick me up at any time and they would not yell at me until the next morning. I never had to take them up on that, but it was always good to know it was available.
So Spawn is 15. He’s been a latchkey kid for a long time and has proven himself to be (mostly) a responsible person. He’s allowed to have friends over, but I expect them to respect me and my space even when I’m not at home. They all do. I like his friends and, though I may intimidate them some, they seem to like me too and to appreciate that I respect them as people and care about them. One of Spawn’s friends will joke with me and is kind of a pain in the ass, but when there’s inclement weather and he’s taking the bus across town, he knows that I’ll worry, so he calls when he gets home to tell me he’s safe.
These kids aren’t stupid by any stretch of the imagination. They’re teenagers and there’s a certain measure of doing stupid things that comes with that age no matter who you are, but these are responsible kids who are well on their way to becoming productive members of society. I see no reason to restrict and limit my son when he should be spending his teenage years learning about the world around him and how to make his way in this world. Apparently, I’m unusual in that.
So my resolution is to write more on the blog. This probably will mean telling older stories when I don’t have specific inspiration on current personal events. It’s something I’ve been intending to do for a while, but just haven’t gotten around to it.
I do not intend to set myself a schedule, because that feels like setting myself up for failure, but I have a lot of stories that haven’t been told because they took place before the internet was really a thing, or at least before I started spending significant time, or maybe just before I started blogging. No matter what, they are stories worth telling.