Campfyre Stories

If there is one thing that I cannot stand, it’s ringing in a New Year with things hanging over my head.  For the most part, I’m pretty good about tying things up right away, but there are always things that get put off for “someday”.  For me, the end of the somedays is when the year ends.  I cannot start anew with old things still clinging.

This is part of what makes the divorce feel so important to me.  I don’t want to ring in yet another year still married.  Ideally, I don’t want to ring in another year with his name attached to me, but even to know things are in the works would tie that up for me.

I have a list, in my head.  It’s really short and the divorce/name business is at the top.  Secondly is getting over my damn self and doing something about the whole love business (so, yes, Jason, the answer to that question is yes).  Scares the hell out of me and I’m not entirely sure how to go about it.  I’m good at convincing myself of bad things…  things I don’t want.  I’m good at convincing myself that he’s not there…  which gives me a really easy reason to not do or say anything at all.

I’m taking care of the recording stuff and I think I’ll have a short CD compiled before New Year’s.  So check that off the list.  I’ve been good about keeping the blog/journal, so there’s no resolution to be had on that front.  My social life is relatively healthy, though maybe not quite as full as I’d like.

For what it is, it’s mostly good.  I seem to only have two major ends that are still loose, and a little more than a month to take care of it all.  The million dollar question right now is whether or not I can work up the courage to tackle one and whether or not the Dragonmaker is man enough to get the divorce taken care of.  I’m honestly not sure which one is the long shot. 

Honestly, I don’t know which one I’d prefer to be.

~FG };^>