Mid-90′s here all weekend. Spent Saturday outside in the heat of the day celebrating the birthday of my favorite baby. I scored with a singing card ("Girls Just Wanna Have Fun").
I found myself hanging out with women who I’ve always considered my mother’s friends, even though I’ve known them for just as long and they’ve always been friends of mine, too. I realized later that it probably has something to do with the fact that they’re my mom’s peers and so, in my head, they become her friends. It was a really nice validation to be seen and treated as a peer by these women who have known me since I was a kid. Makes me feel like an adult, in a really good way.
Sleeping is impossible. I think I got maybe 3 hours last night. Spawn asked me if he could take a shower around 1am or so. I’m not even sure why he asked, but if that boy needs a shower to fall asleep, you know there’s something going on heat-wise.
The worst thing about lying in bed not sleeping is where my thoughts take me. These are roads I don’t want to walk down because sometimes I wind up believing that my fantasies could come true. Maybe I should make more of an effort to make them that much more fantastic. Most of them are realistic and attainable enough to convince me…
There’s something soothing about playing guitar naked in the dark. I couldn’t see my fingers or the fretboard, but I hit all the chords accurately. I wonder how much of that has to do with the fact that I was playing songs that I had written… also whether or not it has anything to do with not needing to hit single strings for those songs. Probably the latter more than the former.
They say if you fall off a horse you should get back on. I think they say that about bicycles, too, but I’m turning it into the open mic. Last time I fell flat on my face. This time needs to be better. Mother Judge will actually be there and hosting, so I think I’ll have a greater level of comfort and the whole thing will come off that much better. *crosses fingers* I’ve pretty much decided which songs I’ll perform, but one of them is kind of up in the air. It’s ok, though, I don’t feel like I need to plan things out to the degree I usually do. I’m trying to be more zen about these things and let them be what they will be.
I found out about another open mic not too far away from me (far enough to have to bus, though). I’m trying to decide if I want to check it out, but I think it might mean skipping this one to do it. I have to go back there this week or I’ll let my humiliation get the best of me… maybe next time, or, perhaps, after my vacation. I just don’t want my music to become stressful.
I am very much looking forward to Falcon Ridge this year. Spawn has finally gotten the message that, since we volunteer, he has to invite a friend BEFORE the volunteer submission time frame closes. He’s done that, I’ve confirmed with his mom and it’s all set up. At 14, I think I don’t have to worry about the boys this year. They’ll be off finding music circles for probably the entire time they’re not working. As far as I’m concerned, it can’t come soon enough.
Another thing that can’t come soon enough? Reassignment. I’m in this waiting period, while I try to finish up all the projects that are open for me, and fulfill my obligations to my manager, but there’s not much for me to *actually* do. Don’t get me wrong, I like what I’m doing, there’s just not much of it and I am actually wrapping things up. I’ll probably stay long enough to cover my manager’s vacation and then (almost immediately afterward) go on my vacation, but in the meantime, I’m not getting new work and it’s about killing me.
Yeah, I could totally use a break. But at this point, I also need to specify that it needs to be a break NOT during 90+ degree weather, because seriously? I’m about melting here.