Campfyre Stories

I apologize for how vague this is going to be.  There are several important reasons that it *needs* to be vague, none of which I intend to disclose to the internet at large.  “She” is not one person, but rather several people who have said various things to me that I need to decompress.

She says he crushes me whether I like it or not.  She says that I am in denial for not believing it, regardless of what my reasons for not believing her are.  She says I should find out, even if finding out either way could jeopardize our friendship.  She says that I’m being blind or silly (in so many words) and I might as well pursue this, though I have little to no interest.She says the other one crushes me, too.  She says it’s obvious that he does, though I have convinced myself it simply isn’t true, if for no other reason than to keep myself safe from heartbreak and disappointment.  She says that I am silly for not taking care of these things and putting my heart and sanity on the line.She says that I need to be more aggressive.  As if I weren’t aggressive and assertive enough anyway.  She says I need to go after the things I want regardless of the consequences.  She says I should throw caution to the wind.  Personally, I think this is a very bad idea.

She says that I should just give up on certain things.  She says it’s not worth the time or effort that I’m investing in things.  She may be right, but it’s not that simple for me.  In fact, it’s not exactly a choice that I’ve made.  She says “It’s just not worth it” and she may be right…  but that doesn’t make it easy to deal with.

She says I need to turn my thoughts off.  She says “Stop thinking about it.” as if that’s somehow possible for me to do.  She says it’s possible, but when she says that all I can think is that she really has no idea how my mind works and that maybe, just maybe, she’s not as smart as I am…  or perhaps it’s not about how smart you are, but the ways in which your intellect works.  She says “You should” and I think “Ha!  I wish!”

She tells me things She thinks I need to hear.  She tells me things I know I need to hear.  She tells me things I can or cannot believe, but She always tells me these things with love.

And that’s why I love Her.  This is what makes Her such a good friend to me.

So always, Thank You.  And sometimes…  SHUT UP!  (kidding…  sort of…)

~FG };^>