Campfyre Stories

I’m in a rut. 

Well, that’s not quite accurate, but to be entirely accurate, I wouldn’t be comfortable putting these thoughts out there, so we’ll go with rut for the moment.

I’m dissatisfied with the way life is going on several different levels.  I’m coming to realizations that I don’t know how to handle/tackle/change and I’m just in generally not particularly pleased with the way things are right now.

I keep feeling like life is trying to tell me that major changes are needed, but I don’t see how I can make those changes right now.  There are so many stumbling blocks that I can’t seem to get around.  I’m starting to take a closer look at what I have and where I am and I’m realizing that I don’t actually want what I thought I did.  And maybe I don’t know what exactly I want, but I think I can’t find it here.

It’s situational, mostly, but also partly to do with location.  I can look at and pinpoint the things that are good, but when I start making the list of things that are maybe not-so-good, it becomes overwhelming in a very short period of time.

I feel like I’m missing something, but I don’t know what it is.  I also feel like whatever thing I’m missing is right in front of me, I just can’t see it or haven’t identified it yet.  I’m not yet sure what to do with this feeling other than to try to tackle it head on.

Girl says that this is just a culmination of the *highly eventful* year that I have had.  I don’t know if I agree with that or not, since I’ve been dealing with each of the traumas pretty much head-on and muddling my way through them, rather than ignoring them or suppressing what comes about because of them.  Regardless, the dissatisfaction is strong these days, and on so many different levels.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do, but I feel a burning urge to do SOMETHING.  There has to be a way to get out of this moment and find some way to satisfy any of the lacking cravings that I’m going through.  It’s simply a matter of figuring out the "how".