The problem with the smart phone is that it is smarter than ME!
August 24th, 2006If you’ve read my blog for any length of time, you’ve seen me talk about my Treo. I love this phone and its "I can do ANYTHING" capabilities. And it can. When it feels like it.
But it doesn’t always feel like it. The two most recent issues were when it decided it only was willing to publish *half* of the absurdly long post I spent obscene amounts of time writing on a desktop (and lost the other half of it in the ether of the internet) and then when it decided to not actually attach documents to the email I was sending, but did allow me to attach the documents to a completely different email to a completely different person, who replied to it… at which point the phone decided to route said reply to my work email account, which isn’t even set up on the infernal phone. ??? Explain *that* away.
I think I need to find an alert tone that goes "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah", because I swear this thing already says that. I much prefer having the realizations that I’m an idiot for something that I actually did, rather than having an anthropomorphic device hell bent on convincing me that I didn’t actually want to do whatever it was I was trying to do in the first place.
I’m starting to think I should name it. HAL seems fitting, but dangerous… it’s already smarter than me, I don’t want to encourage it to go any further than it already has. "I can’t let you do that, Fyre." It just hasn’t vocalized the statement. NOW I have to try to find a midi ring tone of "A Bicycle Built for Two". Um… on second thought, maybe not so much.
Stupid smart phone… what do YOU think I should name it?
*EDIT* Upon further thought, I am considering naming it Daisy as a nod to HAL without actually invoking him. If you’ve seen the movie and get the reference, what do you think of that idea?
Uh oh…perhaps you’re getting old. Pretty soon you’re gonna start complaining to your kid about how things were simpler when you were young and how technology now-a-days is just too complicated!
I’d name the phone Jim. I don’t really have a good reason for that, but nevertheless, I think it fits. Jim is a nice, ordinary name and perhaps will convince the phone to not try anything extraordinary, like taking over the world.
-JB
Comment by Jason � August 24, 2006 @ 10:42 am
The really frightening thing is that this phone is not really very complicated at all. It\’s obstinant… you know, the more I think about it the more I realize it\’s very much like a teenager. It wants to do what it wants to do and if I don\’t like it, it will shut itself off or restart out of nowhere.
And, you know, the whole bit about me being convinced that the robots will one day rise up and try to take over civilization as we know it? Yeah, that\’s totally NOT HELPING when it comes to my little Treo.
Comment by FyreGoddess � August 24, 2006 @ 10:47 am
You should name it Parizad. We’ve already established that it’s smart and witty…
Oh yeah, and Parizad wouldn’t mind getting spanked by a certain Mr. SF.
Comment by Parizad � August 24, 2006 @ 11:32 am
Ah, but you see, as smart as the Treo is, it does not send me hot toilet paper… nor does it steal caution tape from construction sites.
Comment by FyreGoddess � August 24, 2006 @ 11:45 am
Man, I miss sending you stolen goods! You know, your birthday is coming up…
*taps finger on chin*
How do you feel about safe deposit boxes?
Comment by Parizad � August 24, 2006 @ 16:30 pm
That depends… do I also get a key?
More importantly, will YOU have a key?
Comment by FyreGoddess � August 24, 2006 @ 16:38 pm
Ummm… It will be more of a grab and run job. How ’bout this, I’ll send you a few safe deposit boxes. You can choose which one(s) to open for your birthday, winter solstice, etc. Whichever ones you don’t want, we’ll sell on e-bay. “Bid on your big hunk of metal surprise, now!”
FG, cozy up to a welder or a keysmith so that they can open it for you.
Every girl’s closest circle of friends needs to include the gay guy to go shoe shopping with, the whore to make out with, a welder to open “borrowed” safes, a thief to get free stuff, and a bartender to keep you under the impression that this is normal.
Now, I’m selfless enough to be the thief and whore. No need to thank me. Just pucker up, sweet cheeks.
Comment by Parizad � August 25, 2006 @ 12:31 pm
You know when I started reading that, I thought the phone sounded very HAL-like. If it does start vocalizing, run like hell!!!!
Comment by Ananke � August 26, 2006 @ 15:49 pm
I know who hal is but not daisy. maybe you should get a new phone and destroy that one!
Comment by dawn marie � September 2, 2006 @ 20:57 pm