Campfyre Stories

It doesn’t matter what new situation you find yourself in, there is always a turning point where it goes from unfamiliar to comfortable.  Thankfully I got that this week in the new job.

I’m a very social person and I usually make friends easily, but I have a hard time adapting to completely new situations.  Since I started this job, I’ve felt rather out of place, being the only IT person in a department of accountants.  Even the position I’m filling has previously been filled by Accounting-based people, though it is really more of an IT support job.  it’s hard because the lingo is different and I feel out of place among these people.  Also, because I’m somewhat physically isolated, it’s difficult to meet the people I pass in the hallway.

So, some of you know, but I haven’t come out and stated it on my blog, I fell off the wagon a few months back and started smoking again.  I realized that I have to have one vice and, since I can’t really afford to drink and other stuff was out for various reasons, I went right back to my old pattern.  This should, in theory, make it easy to meet people, but it doesn’t.  I haven’t really found that the smokers at this new place are all that friendly or willing to chat on their break.

I’ve been literally snubbed by women I’ve passed in the hallway, which is a new one on me.  I can’t think of another time since High School that people have gone so far as to turn their nose up when someone says "Good morning".  It makes me question myself.  Is it because I’m fat?  Is it because I’m a woman?  It hammers at my optimistic, perky shell.  I keep saying good morning, but I steel myself when I do, on the chance that I’ll be rejected for something so small.

This is why I hate working with a majority of women.  The petty behavior that I’m feeling is mostly coming from women and there are more women that I see regularly than men.

Don’t get me wrong, I have met a handful of people.  The woman who is training me is great, as is my supervisor.  The remote people I talk to in IM are also wonderful and the end-users tend to be (so far, anyway) very reasonable folks.  The man that my supervisor is replacing is someone I think I would really enjoy working with - or even just being around, but he’s leaving, so that’s out.  The woman whose office I share is very friendly and a fine office mate.  And that’s it.  Those are all the people I have had a chance to talk to for more than a passing nod.

Thank gods for the IM client that allows me to talk to people in my last job and the boys I know who are on campus, but in another building.  Having those IT guys to type to has given me something of an outlet for my current at-work social stagnation.  Something is better than nothing and, from them, I can get some of he banality of what I have come to expect from smoke breaks.

But there’s always a turning point.  There always comes a moment when things change, if only slightly.  Mine came the morning after I blogged last time.  I don’t know if it was a change in me or a change in other people, but all of  a sudden, one person who had been passively avoiding me, came up and gave me a bright "Good morning!", which was unfortunately lost for most of the day as I encountered, BY FAR, the funniest name for a person, I have ever seen (I don’t feel comfortable writing about that until I leave this job, but if you want a really hard belly laugh, email me and I’ll tell you).  It wasn’t just getting a "good morning" from someone who had, not snubbed me, but looked through me for a week, it was the manner in which he said it and the odd change of him saying hello each and every time I passed him.

That same day I wound up officially meeting someone I had seen around who always had a scowl on her face.  I had the feeling from the very first that this woman was more likely to be an extremely busy person than standoffish as she appeared, so I withheld judgement.  She is very busy, but it was nice to chat for 5 minutes and say "This is who I am, why I’m here and what I do."  For the first time that day, I felt like I actually had the social interaction that I need to get through my day.  A weight was lifted off of me.

Now I need that turning point in the apartment hunt. I looked at a small place yesterday that I can deal with.  I’ll send in the rental app tomorrow and hope for the best.  It’s very small, but the location couldn’t be better for me.  It’ll be a bit of a scramble to get the money together, since they’re asking for a larger security deposit than I was expecting and want a pet deposit, but I think I’ll be able to swing it to move by 9/1…  if they’ll give it to me.

At this point, I’ve decided that I want to move on 9/1 s a birthday present to myself.  I think that would be good.  Maybe I can even get the day off work…  time will tell.

All I can say right now is that I have this wave of relief in knowing I’m not as shunned or as outcast as I was starting to feel.  Who knows?  In a couple of weeks I may even fit in, which begs the question, do I really want to fit in with Accountants?