This has been a most incredible week. I don’t even really know where to start.
Obviously, there has been a flurry of activity just in trying to get things settled. The memorial for my father was on Saturday and there was a benefit concert to help with all the expenses he incurred on Sunday. Both were amazing. The sheer outpouring of love and the people who came to remember him… well, I just don’t know what to say. My dad had a LOT of friends.
It was amazing to reconnect with a whole lot of people, not the least of whom were my cousins who I hadn’t seen in 21 years, when I was 10 and they were 5, 3, 1, and -1. I only got to meet two of them, but there was a certain measure of relief that came with finding out that there are more of us… that it’s not just the immediate family that’s "weird" (in our way), but that it actually does run through the blood lines… we’re all over the place and there are more of us. More on that in another post, I think. But other people as well – people who are ALSO my family, who watched me grow up, who knew me "back in the day". It was hard, really hard, but it was also really nice to see these people, to remember them… and to see the connections that my father helped to make and/or to foster.
The local newspaper, according to the funeral home, has recently raised their obituary rates so that they are taking extreme advantage of grieving families. In a moment of protest, I decided to put his "real" obit online, which I’m really glad I did, if for no other reason than it has given people an opportunity to share memories of my dad and see some of the pictures. I have been uploading pictures to my site and will probably try to put something together… probably I should be using photobucket or something, but I’m not thinking nearly as clearly as I should/could/would like to…
I missed a week of work because last week THAT was my job. Helping to put things together, slapping up a website, scanning picture after picture after picture, spending time with family, visiting the funeral home, helping to put the memorial together… and grieving. That was my job and, it sucks to say it, but I more enjoyed that than this pretending to be an accountant that I’ve been doing. But, you know, life goes on, even in the midst of death and I furthered some connection and got some irons in the fire even during the mourning process. My dad would have been proud of me for that, but, then, it didn’t take much to make him proud.
What are the other important things to say right now? I think the most important one is just realizing how amazing my friends are. The outpouring of support has been incredible and heartening. Those who came to each remembrance were welcome and needed and came to where they best fit. I needed emotional support at the memorial and I got it; I needed fun, conversation and a drink at the benefit and I got that, too. I’m a really lucky person.
There’s so much more I have to say, but I’m too scattered, still, to try to piece them together. So I’m gonna call that a recap of sorts and delve into the other things later after I come down a bit.